| Every thought that I repent
There's another chip you haven't spent
And you're cashing them all in,
Where do we begin to get clean again
Can we get clean again
I walk home alone with you
And the mood you're born into
Sometimes you let me in
And I take it on the chin
Can we get clean again
I want to know
Can we get clean again
The god of wine comes crashing through
The headlights of a car that
That took you farther than you thought
You'd ever wanna go
We can't get back again
We can't get back again
She takes a drink and then she waits
The alcohol it permeates,
And soon the cells give way,
And cancels out the day
I can't keep it all together
I know...
I can't keep it all together
And the siren's song that is your madness
Holds a truth I can't erase
All alone on your face
Every glamorous sunrise
Throws the planets out of line
A star sign out of whack
A fraudulent zodiac
And the god of wine is crouched down in my room
You let me down, I said it
Now I'm going down ,and you're not even around
And I said no...
I can't keep it all together
I know...
I can't keep it all together
And there's a memory of a window
Looking through, I see you
Searching for something that I could never give you
And there's someone who understands you, more than I do
A sadness I can't erase
All alone on your face. |
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| it seems its been a while since ive written in here. dont think i havent tried though. its just that everytime id go to write an entry, my mind would go blank and id just give up and go to bed. but not a whole lot has happened since then. things with tamille (the black woman in the previous entry) are fine because she hasnt said/done anything to me for about 2 weeks now. last night rays phone rang and he told me to answer it. unfortunately, he doesnt have caller id and it was his ex-girlfriend. so now she hates me too. it was a big mess. i could hear almost everything she was saying and the only thing that went through my mind was, "i wish i hadnt answered the phone." on a lighter note, i cleaned my car today and that was much needed. i went to get my oil changed but they were closed. my car is acting funny and that sucks because i practically live in it. i definitely cant afford a new one, or even to have it fixed if its a big problem, so lets hope a $30 oil change will do the trick. i am a few thousand miles overdue for one anyway. right now im about to go to work to hopefully make some money.
never was a cornflake girl. thought it was a good solution. hanging with the raisin girls. shes gone to the other side |
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| the past week was the most stressful week of my entire life. ive never been sicker from trying to figure everything out. im a 17 year old white girl from doylestown ohio. i should not be having to deal with 20-something year old black women from the ghetto, but somehow one got thrown into the equation of my life. ontop of that i had normal school stress and a few other things going on that were just adding to the pain in my stomach. i spent the whole week crying and throwing up. it wasnt fun at all, but things are looking up. i do think this week will be much better.
yesterday i went to chuck e. cheese with ray, his daughter, and his nephew. it was nice. then we went to skyway for dinner and that was nice as well. i spend a lot of time with him and thats ok with me because i like him.
we're disposable teens. |
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| yesterday was the worst day ever. i must start looking for a new job NOW. this one is just not all its cracked up to be. its giving me much more trouble than its worth and even mother agrees.
last night was the best night ever. thats all i have to say about that. |
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